According to Ann
Efforts Military Marching Song
Members here will surely find
Efforts gives you peace of mind
We don't want an early death
Just because we're short of breath
Don't resort to chitter chat
Of 'I agree' and 'Fancy that!'
Ask your questions, give replies
On meds and valued exercise
Stay on topic, if you please
You'll get help with lung disease,
Improve your health and attitude,
Sign your emails, thank you, dude.
Ann is thrilled if you do this
Her heart is filled with joyful bliss
So come on members, make her day,
Let's grow in strength, the Efforts way.
|Emails are Read
Emails are read,
West Side Story - the ruination of the tune
of 'I Feel Pretty'
I feel sickly,
I feel sickly and prickly and rough
I am certain that it's curtains -
Oxygen isn't enough.
Is it worth it?
All this sighing?
All this sighing and crying for air?
Who will hug me? More like bug me,
And I really don't think it is fair.
See that helpful group on the internet?
What group and where?
Who can that attractive group be?
See the EFFORTS group
See the EFFORTS group
Oh, whoopee .......
It will help you
To feel better,
Better and fitter and may
Make you stronger and live longer
To enjoy yet another good day.
And our breathing is wheezy
Hearts are thumping
And the temperature's high,
A name is missing
At the end of an email
And no address ....
It's making Ann cry.
One of these mornings
Ann's gonna rise up singin'
Spread her arms
And shout: 'my oh my'
Because at last
Members do as she asks them
Signing their emails
Ere they send a reply.
But till that morning
We'll do purse lip breathin'
Shake our heads
And give a big sigh,
Because that day
Is a long time a-coming
Just like waiting
For piglets to fly.
|Apologies to Stephen
Isn't it rich?
It isn't fair.
Why are we struggling to breathe
In all this air?
Find us some lungs,
Some workable lungs;
Ours are showing some wear.
Just when we stopped
Staying at home
Daunted by chores,
We found this group.
We are under its care.
It helps us to know
That someone is there.
Don't you love friends
Who all understand
And offer you help
Of just the right brand?
We are such clowns -
We all act like clowns.
But please hold my hand.
With apologies to the author of Mack the Knife
Make my life.
Oh this group has lovely folk, dear,
And we read the mail they write
Sign their names right at the end, dear,
On display, not out of sight.
When you write without a name, dear,
You are not known and it's a shame
Because our members are our friends, dear,
And we like to know your name.
If you're embarrassed by the subjects,
The most recent one was 'sex'.
We can cope with the effects, dear,
If you sign with just an 'X'.
Apologies to Leonard Bernstein
Dear kindly Sergeant Krupke
We didn't understand,
It's just our bringin' up-ke
That got us out of hand.
Most of us were smokers,
When dangers were unknown.
Without the help of Efforts, we'd be on our own!
Gee Officer Krupke, we're very upset,
We never had the info that smokers should get.
We ain't no delinquents
We didn't see the trick.
Deep down inside us we are sick!!
We are sick, we are sick
Our poor lungs are very sick,
Like inside the best of us are sick.
So to all our friends in Efforts,
Although it may seem rough,
Most of us are coping,
We members are so tough.
We try to help each other
Stop from feeling sad,
And that's why we're sayin'
THINGS ARE NOT SO BAD!
Officer Krupke, you've done it again.
These members aren't unhappy, even in pain.
It ain't just a question that we're understood,
Deep down inside us, we are good!
(With apologies to West Side Story -
NB Officer Krupke is aka Gary Bain - LOL)
In olden times
we'd write on slate
Why we have rules, when it's a bore,
|More Post Guidelines
New member writes:
'Oh help me, do,
Gary had a little group
|Jack and Jill
Jack and Jill Went up the hill To fetch a pail of water Jill gasped for breath And felt like death The moral comes hereafter
Jack carried on, got the water, came back , helped Jill back down the hill and impressed on her that she *must* stop smoking, *must* exercise more and *must* watch her diet. Jill sighed and wished she had married a muscle man and not a *must-all* man.
Older members will remember the weekly 'Reminders' which were to encourage all members to follow the posting guidelines when emailing the main list. So for newer members and to jog the memory of others, here are a couple of requests to be going on with. Please try and follow these; it is seen as courtesy to others and helps make EFFORTS such a brilliant support group.
Firstly, please send emails that are not essential reading for 2300 + members d-i-r-e-c-t-l-y to the person you are responding to..... do not send via the main list, but address it to the member's personal email address. This will be so very much appreciated by those who cannot spend too long at the computer for either health or technical reasons.
Secondly, to enable the above to happen, it is incredibly helpful, at the end of your emails to the main list to sign off with your name, state and email address. Example below:
Lassie, Hollywood, CA - firstname.lastname@example.org
Oceans of love from across the Atlantic to all members - even the ones who forget the guidelines from time to time! You know who you are! LOL
The Sound of Mucus
|Oh What a Beautiful Morning
Oh what a
With apologies to the Beatles...
|Mark Done Told Me
Mark Mangus done told me
One Pained Melody!
|When I'm 94...
If I could ask you just one thing Before you raise your voice and sing, Please sign your name each time you write An email to us on this site! We'll be pleased - don't drive us crazy! Just oblige: stop being lazy.
Thanks to the Beatles again.
When some of us notice we're losing our hair, We don't say it's our age. Most of us are happy to blame this disease, For baldness, wrinkles, pleats on our knees. If we stayed out till quarter to three Could we blame ER? Delayed while they checked us, started to dissect us, Escaping via the door.
Friends can be handy, mending a fuse When our lights have gone. They do all the chores that we cannot abide We mount our bikes and go for a ride. Friends can do digging and pulling the weeds, Who could ask for more. Don't have to be wealthy, but need to stay healthy, To live to ninety-four.
We'll send you a postcard, drop you a line, >From our latest cruise. Tell you 'bout the pain of all the exercise Walking round the deck, and one or two lies About the healthy food, no pecan pies We won't eat them no more. We'll try a bit harder to keep out of the larder, And live till ninety-four!
Dedicated to Tom Brewer
Emphysema Foundation For Our Right To Survive © 2005
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