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Stop Smoking
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The following articles © Copyright Fred Kelley of
QuitSmoking.com. Visit the web site at
http://www.quitsmoking.com
for great information and products designed to help you
quit smoking. This ebook is brought to you
by Marsha Thomlinson, Quitster Moderator
Chapter 1: The Life?? of Smoking
Chapter 2: That Smoking Feeling
Chapter 3: Smoking Myths
Chapter 4: Victims of Misinformation
Chapter 5: The Psychology of Belief
Chapter 6: The Power of Feelings
Chapter 7: The Illusion of Willpower
Chapter 8: Commonly Asked Questions
Chapter 9: This Is Going To Be the Most Important
Decision of Your Life
Chapter 10: The Joy of Non-Smoking
Chapter 1
The Life?? of Smoking
Why is it so difficult to stop smoking?
I bet you have asked yourself this question again and again. Every smoker
has. We know it is bad for us; we KNOW it is KILLING us and yet..... we
continue to do it. And to make things worse......every time, we try to
stop, we seem to WANT it more and more. Even all the health scares don't
affect us.
From new statistics, we now know that over 50% of all
regular smokers will die from smoking-related diseases. And when you look
even closer at the truth of the matter, it is even more incredible......
Everyday, we are in fact using our own money to systematically destroy our
own body - to turn our health living cells into dying cancerous-ridden
ones - and we are so persistent in doing it - every day, every hour we are
on the job. When we look at it this way, we all know that smoking is
'surely the stupidest thing in the world'. And yet we all continue to do
it.
I continued to smoke even though I knew all the above - in
fact I even watched my grandfather die of smoking-related cancer, but I
still kept smoking for years afterwards. THE PARADOX In fact, in a strange
way, such incidents probably make it harder to give up. I was a teenager
when my grandfather died....17 to be exact. I had only been smoking a
little while when I heard my parents say that he knew he was dying from
cancer but still he wouldn't give up smoking. Although I wasn't aware of
it at the time, I drew two very damaging conclusions from my grandfather's
decision. One, I concluded -- that either cigarette must indeed be very
enjoyable: Why one someone keep doing it even though it was killing him?
(I did not know of the addictive nature of the drug - nicotine at that
stage. I was only 11) Or else: It must be impossible to give up smoking
once you start. Otherwise, surely he would have stopped?
The Puzzle
The truth is.....most of us will not admit to the real reason why we will
not stop smoking. Some of us say it is because of the withdrawal symptoms
we will have to face if we give up. We dread them because of the terrible
scary stories we have heard from people who have tried to give up. Or from
our own memories, when we tried to quit and failed.T his fear is also
re-enforced by our culture which bombards us with images and beliefs which
seem to to emphasize one sole message: When you give up, you'll face
terrible withdrawal pains. Your body will scream for mercy - for nicotine.
You will be miserable, angry - even violent until you beat this nicotine
monster. RUBBISH! RUBBISH ! IF you only get one thing from this course,
please realize this: All the above horror stories are false. The actual
PHYSICAL withdrawal symptoms from nicotine are so MILD most people will
not even notice them! And for those that do, it will be less than the
slight discomfort you would feel from a light head cold! Yes, you will
FEEL something when you stop smoking, but the feelings of emptiness,
frustration and anxiety that you WILL feel when you give up smoking do not
come from the nicotine addiction, but from the mental conditioning that
you have associated with smoking. THEY ARE CAUSED BY YOUR REACTION TO THE
FACT THAT WE CAN'T SMOKE. This is such an important point. There is no
PHYSICAL pain when you give up smoking. You will experience no physical
agony when you decide to stop. When you fully understand this you will
look forward to that day that you will smoke that final cigarette and
become a non-smoker for life. Can you accept this truth ? Don't worry at
this stage if you can't - we will be devoting all Lesson 3 to this vital
aspect of giving up.
At this point, just accept it as a working but very
exciting possibility! Drop all your old thinking -open your mind to new
exciting possibilities So if it's not fear of withdrawal symptoms, what
then really keeps us hooked to smoking ?Some of us believe that it is
enjoyable ? Others believe that it gives a person confidence and a sense
of courage. Another great myth is the belief that smoking relieves
boredom. This is absolutely nonsense as boredom is a state of mind and
must be dealt with from that level. Weight Gain .....and smoking Any
increasingly disturbing trend is the belief that smoking can be used as a
slimming aid. This is based on the belief that if you give up smoking you
are BOUND to gain weight. This is not true. If you adapt this new
psychology of non-smoking, you need not fear gaining weight. Yes, it may
have happened in the past when people tried to give up smoking through
Will-Power ALONE. To give up smoking, these people were told to use all
their willpower and try to take their mind off their 'desire to smoke and
'do' something else- ANYTHING. They were told to eat snacks or nibble this
or that - ANYTHING to keep them busy and their minds off smoking. Why did
they want to eat? Because the 'feeling' or the 'hunger' for a cigarette is
very similar to the 'feeling' you get when you are hungry. And so, in the
past. people ATE in the mistaken BELIEF that by eating, they could satisfy
this feeling for a cigarette and that it would help them keep their minds
off smoking. But of course, it didn't work and the MORE the feeling to
smoke came back........ the MORE they ate in the mistaken belief it could
help them. That is the historical origin of this belief.
I am always amazed by how many people are still convinced
that weight gain is an absolute by-product of giving up smoking as if you
can't have one without the other. When you give up, you'll face terrible
withdrawal pains. Yes, I accept there was some validity for it in the
past. But the CAUSE was not giving up smoking but HOW they went about the
process. We are going to deal specifically with this issue throughout the
course -- so beware of any tendency to continue to want to smoke out of
fear of gaining weight.
An Eye-Opening Experiment
Back to our question! Why is it so difficult to stop smoking and it is
enjoyable? Break up a cigarette............ The Experiment Right now, can
you take out a cigarette and gently tear it apart. Then.... place the
cigarette on the table in front of you. What you will be left with.....
are little brown pieces of material (tobacco), a filter and strips of
white paper. Dead, inanimate material. For the next few minutes, just
spend a little while studying this raw material. Maybe, get a pen and
ruffle through it. Really study it. Now ask yourself: 'Do you really
believe that by setting that material alit and by inhaling it's smoke that
it WILL give you those magical qualities of confidence and courage?' Would
you find the ACTUAL physical act of INHALING that smoke ENJOYABLE? Would
you stick your head in a fireplace to inhale it's smoke? Try to be honest
with yourself as you do this exercise. I know it is difficult, but it is
well worth the effort to face the truth. I want you to do another exercise
now. I want you to smoke a cigarette. ( Please note if you have already
stopped smoking and are just using this course as a refresher to help you
remain an non-smoker, this exercise does not apply to you. Do the exercise
in your mind ). Now I want you to smoke the cigarette...... in a special
way. With COMPLETE AWARENESS of what you are DOING. I want you to start
now and with full attention, take six deep pulls and as you do this, just
be aware of what you are doing and..... of the smoke going into your
lungs. Do not think about anything else. Just focus, concentrate totally
on the actual mechanics of smoking MOMENT-BY-MOMENT. Now I want you to
tell me.......WHAT GREAT SENSATIONS OR ENJOYMENT are you now experiencing
as you do this. Try to describe to me the wonderful experience that we
ex-smokers are being deprived of. Strange isn't ! When we do this
exercise, we realize that most of the time when we smoke, we are totally
UNAWARE of what we are doing. We have to be - because if we smoke and
remain FULLY AWARE of the ACTUAL ACT of smoking, we would lose all the
enjoyment. We would see through the illusion of enjoyment.
For the next few days, just watch people smoking. After
they lit up and take the first pull, 99% of smokers forget they are
smoking. They are unaware of what they are doing. They continue smoking
blindly......,automatically........ In fact they might as well be not
smoking at all..............!!99% of people who smoke everyday are
unconscious of what they are doing - after their first puff. This is a
very important point, because it reveals an extraordinary truth. The
pleasure, those 'warm, relaxing pleasurable' feelings that we experience
when we smoke do NOT come from the cigarette. I know that it will take
time to convince you of this truth because the two seem so intertwined -
so connected. We will explore this more fully in subsequent lessons, but
to start to get a glimpse of this truth -- look again at the torn-up
cigarette lying on the table. It is a dead, life-less piece of material?
Isn't it? Can it jump up and down and attack you? Can it jump up and sing
and dance and entertain you ? Can it relax and soothe you later on to-day
if you become nervous or tense ? No. Of course not! The truth is......It
is YOU who generate the pleasurable-relaxed safe feelings you experience
when you smoke and..... it is YOU who have associated them totally with
the act of smoking.
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Chapter 2
That Smoking Feeling
Later on in Step 4, you will learn how this process began - and how
after you became addicted to smoking, the process became automatic. What
this means is that every time you smoke or more importantly, even think of
having a cigarette, you unconsciously release these feelings. This, in
turn, causes the release of certain chemical secretions in your brain and
nervous system which cause you to experience that ' certain feeling' you
get when you smoke. THE IMPLICATIONS Can you begin to see the implications
of this ? It is YOU by your mental intention to smoke that causes the
release of these brain chemicals - not the cigarette. But because you
believe it is the cigarette ( not an unreasonable assumption !) you
believe you MUST smoke to get those feelings But even more importantly,
you believe that if you stop smoking, you will NEVER experience those
feelings again. That is what ex-smokers mean when they say 'they long for
a cigarette'. What they really mean is they long to experience those
certain PLEASURABLE feelings again. If you think about it, that's one of
the main reasons why you really smoke - isn't it ? To enjoy that feeling -
that sensation ! And what is your greatest fear if you give up? Losing
that pleasure, that enjoyment, that need, that security that you believe
the cigarette provides.
We smoke because we want to experience those pleasant feelings that we
have unconsciously linked to smoking.
But may I make suggestion here? What if you could give up smoking, but
still be able to create and enjoy those same pleasurable, safe feelings
-without smoking? A NEW POSSIBILITY Lets look again at one of our torn-up
cigarette on the table. With your pen, play around with it. Really examine
it closely. It's hard to believe, isn't it, that this life-less,
nothing-less substance can cause so much trouble in your life? But what is
more extraordinary is the awesome powers and qualities that we humans have
attributed to it ?We believe it can...... Relieve our boredom Relax us if
we are nervous or tense Help us to think and concentrate. And,
dangerously, we even believe it can help us stay slim. Not only have we
accepted all those false beliefs, but we have even managed to convince
ourselves THAT IT IS ACTUALLY ENJOYABLE TO INHALE IT'S LIFE-DESTROYING,
FILTHY SMOKE INTO OUR LUNGS. Daily suicide Right now, you're probably
feeling frustrated, angry and somewhat foolish at being a smoker. That is
not our intention. As smokers, we have all committed the same folly. We
have all been in the same boat and made the same foolish mistakes. But the
good news is that we don't have to continue on this suicide mission. The
simple truth is...... We find it difficult to give up smoking, not because
it is enjoyable, or because it helps us to relax, but because WE BELIEVE
that it does all these things for us! We also believe that if we attempt
to give up, it will involve nothing but pain and suffering. And who wants
to face extra pain and agony in their lives? BUT WHAT IF ALL THE ABOVE
NEGATIVE BELIEFS ARE NOT TRUE - THAT, IN FACT THE OPPOSITE IS TRUE ?
Allow yourself to consider all possibilities
Who are you kidding? Right now, you're probably saying this cannot
be true - that you know hundreds of people, no doubt yourself included,
who have giving up smoking and found it terrible. I do not disagree with
you. I know hundreds of people who tried to stop smoking and found it the
worst experience of their lives. And if you decide to give up smoking and
use the old WILLPOWER method of stopping - you may succeed. But you will
find it a hard and painful process as all the people in the past did. If
you decide to use the old method of brutal willpower alone, you may
succeed but you will find it a hard and miserable process.
However, while you are doing that, the rest of us will be taking full
advantage of the new developments in the Psychology of Non-smoking and the
extraordinary wisdom of Zen and finding the whole process much more
tolerable....... even enjoyable. The choice is yours.
The old way or the New Way! THE NEW WAY OR THE OLD WAY. Let me repeat
our key point again. You find it difficult to give up smoking because YOU
believe it is enjoyable. You believe this absolutely, totally, COMPLETELY.
You also believe that smoking can help you in many ways -- and that if you
stop smoking, you will lose all these benefits. But the situation is made
even worse because you believe that if you do give up, you will have
NOTHING at all to look forward to but pain and agony. the belief that it
must be hard Is it any wonder that people who have these beliefs, but
still ATTEMPT to give up, find the whole experience terrible and painful
....? A SECRET May I let you in on a little secret.... well, it's not a
secret at all. Millions around the world have already proved it. All the
beliefs about smoking being difficult to give up and that you will face
agony if you try ARE NOT TRUE. How can you know for sure ? Easy. We don't
want you to take our word for it. You are going to know for sure because
you are going to prove it and experience it for yourselves. As for
having to do battle with nicotine's 'terrible withdrawal symptoms' when
you give up ............well let's keep the good news (and the new
scientific facts ) about cigarette's famous withdrawal pangs for Step
Three............
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Chapter 3
Smoking Myths
The truth is...
YOU are a nicotine addict. You need your little dose. You smoke cigarettes
to get your little dose of nicotine. Fortunately, and this is the good
news, despite popular misconception, nicotine IS an easy drug to kick as
the physical withdrawal symptoms are so mild. HOW MANY SMOKERS REALLY KNOW
THIS ?
Let me repeat it and I intend to repeat it again and again, without any
apologies, throughout this course :One of the great myths of smoking is
that you will suffer terrible physical withdrawal symptoms when you stop.
Key Idea
The physical craving for nicotine is so mild you will hardly notice it. In
fact, giving up smoking is 99% mental and only 1% physical. And what is
that 1% - merely an empty, restless incomplete feeling....the temporary
feeling that something is missing. That is all. That is all. That is all
you will physically experience when you stop smoking. In fact, the
majority of smokers will not be aware of any physical withdrawal symptoms
at all when they give up.
Let me emphasize this again: The only thing you will experience when you
stop smoking is a slight physical discomfort that is little more than an
empty, restless, hungry feeling that will feel quite uncomfortable for the
first three days and then will gradually decline into nothingness.
May I ask you this ? If you had a light head cold, would you stop
everything and wait in terrible fear for the symptoms of a light head cold
to emerge? Of course not.
It would be an inconvenience but you would ignore it and get on with your
business - knowing that it would be gone in a few days. You would not make
a big fuss out of it. This is exactly the sort of attitude you must take
when you finally stop smoking - because the actual physical discomfort you
will experience will be less than that of a head cold. This is such an
important point. People who have successfully given up smoking really get
angry (and I definitely do!) when we see people, and especially TV shows
and films perpetuate this old myth.
Fear of Agony
IF you can overcome this belief and accept the truth - even, at this stage
just as a possibility, you will have overcome one of the major hurdles
that keeps people smoking. This is what an expert who has successfully
treated thousands of smokers said recently: "It amazes me how many people
convince themselves that they enjoy smoking - when the truth is that deep
down they are terrified of the agony they think they will have to face."
So people either put off giving up: they pretend that they like smoking
or, and this is evident in a lot of cases, they cling to a belief that
there really is no cure for people who smoke. These and all other excuses
are just a defense we devise to protect ourselves from an agony we believe
we must face. If we only knew that the only physical agony we will face is
a tiny physical discomfort that will linger for the first few
days......... Almost one in five of all premature deaths are caused by
smoking.
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Chapter 4
Victims of Misinformation
Let me add, at
this point, that it is not your fault that that you have unconsciously
accepted all these false beliefs about smoking. We are all victims of this
universal myth - but one by one we must face it and expose it's
nothingness. This will not only be for our own personal benefit because
everybody who succeeds in giving up smoking and finding the whole process
easy makes it 100% easier for all the people who follow them. Again do not
blame yourself for your present beliefs about smoking. Remember, at
one stage over 60% of the adult population were addicted to nicotine
In fact, in the fifties, people were told by doctors and the tobacco
companies that cigarettes did not even pose a risk to health !!
The Mechanics of Smoking
So exactly what does happen when you smoke ? the act of
smoking.......Every puff on your cigarette delivers, via the lungs to the
brain a small dose of nicotine that actually acts more rapidly than a dose
of heroin an addict may inject into his veins. Because nicotine is a
quick-acting drug the levels in the bloodstream drop quickly to about half
within a half an hour and a quarter within an hour of finishing a
cigarette. As soon as a smoker extinguishes a cigarette the nicotine
rapidly begins to leave the bloodstream and the smoker begins to suffer
withdrawal symptoms - that restless feeling that says "I want a
cigarette".
What does the smoker then do? He has another cigarette of course and
within seven seconds, fresh nicotine is supplied and the craving ends
..........but soon starts again .....and again.........and
again.............and the chain goes on and it is a chain for life UNLESS
we break it. So whenever you feel like a cigarette - and we all know the
feeling - that senseless desire to smoke - realize that it is nothing but
that 'little monster', nicotine - requesting it's hourly dose of poison.
That's all. Not some large, terrifying, all-powerful force that we must
fear and obey at all costs. It is just that 'little monster' trying to
send a message to the brain - usually every hour - 'I need more poison.
Nicotine now please."
The Truth
The truth is simple. You are a nicotine addict. Full stop. The truth is
simple. You are a nicotine addict. You smoke to supply your body with
nicotine but this is not the end of the world. There is some good news. It
is important to remember that although nicotine is one of the world's most
powerful drugs because of the speed with which you get hooked, you are
never badly hooked. Because it is a quick-acting drug it takes only three
weeks for 99% of all the traces of nicotine to leave your body and it's
physical withdrawal symptoms are so mild as to be unnoticeable. Isn't this
great news? We all know the terrible reality of smoking but at least there
is a way out of this misery. We thought we were chained for life to this
terrible addiction and we were convinced we would have to suffer terrible
withdrawal pangs to escape from it. But now a new simple truth has emerged
that people all over the world are discovering for themselves: When you
give up smoking there is no physical agony to battle against.
All we will feel is a slight discomfort that will come in the form of a
empty restless feeling which will fade away gradually after we stop. A
LINGERING DOUBT. But there is still a doubt in your mind, right now, isn't
there ? "OK", you're probably saying, "I understand this whole problem of
nicotine addiction and I can accept that I'll probably have no problem in
dealing with
any physical withdrawal symptoms I may have to face - in actual fact I'm
looking forward to it - but I still have a nagging doubt. There much be
more to it than that. If it is so easy to cope with the withdrawal
symptoms, why then do some smokers still find it so difficult? Why do
they go through months of torture and spend the whole of their lives
pining for a cigarette? "The answer to that question will complete the
final piece of the jigsaw that will solve for us the mystery of our
addiction to smoking.................Let me tell you a story. I was a
smoker for fifteen years. I really used to look forward (or so I believed
) to a cigarette..... After work After a meal .....And, of course in the
pub. In fact I really, really believed that there was no way -- NO WAY --
I would EVER be able to enjoy myself in the pub if I couldn't smoke. Even
the thought horrified me. For me, this is my most vivid memory. I can
honestly say that if a hundred people, no a million people who had already
given up smoking had told me that I REALLY could enjoy myself without
smoking - in fact that I would enjoy myself infinitely better, I would
not have believed a word. Not a word.
It is amazing how much we genuinely believe all the illusions about
smoking. We all genuinely believe that they do something for us - that
they are a help, a joy, a comfort, a friend....... And that if they go,
we'll miss them terribly. We should never underestimate the power these
beliefs can have on us. In my case, I accepted WITHOUT QUESTION the
assumption that I NEEDED to smoke. I could not even visualize myself,
enjoying a night-out without being able to smoke. To-day thousands of
people who genuinely and totally believed that they NEEDED to smoke to
enjoy certain parts of the day have realized it is a TOTAL ILLUSION. And
yet to-day it is true. I CAN enjoy myself totally without needing to
smoke. And I don't tell you this out of pride but hope. Hope that you
might consider it possible also for yourself. Remember
again.......Thousands of people who genuinely and totally believed that
they NEEDED cigarettes to enjoy certain parts of the day have realized
that it really is an illusion Won't you let the life-experiences of
thousands of people like myself, even persuade you to consider this even
as a glorious possibility? Allow yourself to think the
unthinkable: You can FULLY enjoy yourself without NEEDING to smoke.
Today, I genuinely look forward to going out and the thought of wanting to
smoke does not even enter my mind, even if EVERYBODY around me is
smoking. However.........let me add to all our readers that we fully
understand all your fears and doubts. And I know that, at this stage you
will find it hard, if not impossible to believe all the above claims. I
know that you are still not looking forward to the day when you will
finally give up for good. There are still many doubts and worries in your
mind. The main thing is to be patient. Take your time. Let all this new
information about the psychology of non-smoking sink into your mind so
that everyday you grasp a deeper and deeper understanding of the
principles involved. As you do this, you will find all the illusions which
you so dearly believed in falling away of their own accord.
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Chapter 5
The Psychology of Belief
It is the mind
that maketh good or evil. That maketh wretch or happy, rich or poor.EDMUND
BURKE.
Have you ever
watched the TV program - The Hypnotic World of Paul McKenna - where people
under hypnotism seem to do the most extraordinary things and yet they seem
to be fully awake? Have you ever wondered what is happening here? How does
the hypnotist get people to act like this ?The POWER OF BELIEFS. Basically
it is all very simple. By inducing a deep state of relaxation, the
hypnotist has managed to plant a suggestion or a belief in the person's
subconscious which that person has fully accepted as true. 'Beliefs' keep
us locked into this terrible prison. That person will then act in
accordance with that belief whenever it is suggested to him. The extent of
his 'obedience' will depend on the level of relaxation induced in the
subject and the extent of his suggestibility to hypnotic influence. So,
for example if a subject is told that when he hears a certain tune, or
sees a certain object, he will act in a certain way -- that is what he
will do. He has been hypnotized so that whenever this stimulus is present,
he will react in the prescribed way. A more concrete example: Let us
suppose our client has been told that whenever he hears a loud laugh, he
will act like a crazy clown and the client's subconscious accepts this
suggestion. Our client will then proceed to behave like this
whenever this stimulus is present. From TV, we all know how funny and
crazy this can be "Look at that person. Look at what he is doing. He
really believes he is a clown." And he is doing all that...... because his
subconscious
has accepted the belief that whenever he hears a loud laugh he is a clown.
Although this is only a belief in the client's mind, look how powerful it
is in determining and controlling his behavior at certain times. At the
end of the show, how does the hypnotist stop him from behaving in this way
in the future? He simply tells him to close his eyes, to relax and then he
proceeds to remove the belief - the suggestion in the person's mind that
when he hears a loud laugh, he will act like a clown. He doesn't start
giving out to him or telling him he is crazy or lose his temper with him
does he ? No. To change his behavior - how he feels and acts - he simply
removes the belief.
Right now, you
are probably saying this is all very interesting and all but what has it
got to do with my smoking addiction? Everything. We are using the above
only as an example to show you the nature and importance of belief, and
how it can totally affect how you think and feel about life. Your
deepest-beliefs determine how you think, feel and act. Do you know what a
belief is? It is simply a strong emotional state of certainty that you
hold about people, things or experiences in life. We all hold
beliefs about virtually everything in life - whether we are AWARE of them
or not. And it is these beliefs that determine how we react to these
things in our life. In fact the more we learn about human behavior, the
more we discover the extraordinary power beliefs exert over all aspects of
our lives. Do you believe that?
The Power of Beliefs
In fact,
beliefs not only determine our psychological states but they can also
affect us at a physiological level. A remarkable study was done on
schizophrenia a while ago. One case involved a woman with a spilt
personality. Normally her blood sugar levels were completely normal. But
when she believed she was a diabetic in one of her split personalities,
her whole physiology
changed to become that of a diabetic. This change was measured by doctors
present. Her belief became her reality. Because she totally believed,
without doubt or question , this belief changed her entire physiological
state. Although this may sound extraordinary, this case is true and is
well documented. In fact, you may have seen numerous hypnotic
demonstrations where a person is touched with a piece of ice which is
represented to him as a piece of boiling hot metal. A belief is planted in
his mind that this piece of ice is in fact a piece of hot metal. If the
subject accepts this belief - invariably a blister will develop at the
point of contact. Yes - A real physical blister!
Can you see
what is happening here? What counted was not the reality of the situation
but the belief - the subject's brain and nervous system believed that the
skin was being touched by a hot metal rod and acted accordingly. Even
though this was not true - it makes no difference - because by believing
it was true, he responded as if it was true.
Beliefs And Smoking
Do you see how this relates to your smoking ? Even though you now know
that the physical withdrawal symptoms from nicotine will be so mild as to
be unnoticeable - if you still believe the old myths that it will be
difficult and that you will have to suffer - then your subconscious mind
will produce those symptoms for you and that is what you will experience.
Smoking your life away
It is as if we have all been unconsciously hypnotized by society and we
are only now beginning to wake up. The fault does not lie in the cigarette
or in the fact that you are no longer supplying your body with nicotine.
The fault lies in the false brainwashing you have blindly accepted about
giving up smoking.
The Myth Of Pleasure Smoking and TV
This belief is strong. The belief that you need to smoke to be happy. To
survive. Tobacco companies, for example have spent literally billions of
pounds in very clever, subtle subliminal advertising linking pleasurable
states of mind to the act of smoking and you too have contributed to this
false belief (Step 4).The initial pleasure came from the relief of
satisfying your body's urge for nicotine but you unconsciously accentuated
that pleasure and associated it - in fact you made it dependent upon the
act of smoking. Even though smoking is not pleasurable the BELIEF that it
is KEEPS us smoking. To enjoy giving up smoking, you must start to
question and weaken this belief and then your desire and need to smoke
will go.
An Exercise
To reinforce this vital truth in your mind, I want you to repeat an
important exercise we did in a previous lesson. I want you to smoke
another cigarette but this time I want you to pay FULL ATTENTION to what
you are doing. Relax your mind now and slowly go through the ritual of
smoking - the pure physical act of smoking a cigarette. Now lit up, take
six deep slow puffs from the cigarette -- all the time being FULLY AWARE
of what you are doing. Concentrate FULLY on the smoke going into your
lungs.Don't just do this exercise mentally in your head - actually smoke
that cigarette now - IN THE WAY PRESCRIBED. [this exercise does not apply
if you have already stopped smoking. Instead use your imagination] Don't
let any emotions or feelings arise - just CONCENTRATE on the ACTUAL
MECHANICS of what you do everyday, when you smoke. Now describe the
marvelous sensations that you are receiving. Tell us about the wonderful
experience that the rest of us are being deprived of -- RIGHT NOW as you
smoke with FULL AWARENESS. What feelings do you have........... when you
smoke while you remain fully AWARE and CONSCIOUS of what you are doing.
Probably none at all! In fact, you begin to realize that to enjoy smoking,
you have to actually forget what you are actually doing!! We now know the
reason for this. The pleasure does not come from the cigarette but from
the pleasurable sensations we ourselves unconsciously transfer to it.
This is the great puzzle facing smokers. We know, at least intellectually
that we will not suffer any great physical pain when we stop. We also
know, again intellectually that when we look at it objectively - smoking
per se is really not enjoyable or pleasurable. But we still find it
difficult to give up. Why is this ? Because we have not yet given up the
BELIEF that smoking is pleasurable and that if we stop, we will be
missing out or being deprived of something. This is the core belief: We
believe we NEED to smoke to be happy. To survive. To just get by.
The Illusion Of Willpower
That is why people who use will-power alone to stop find it so HARD. They
try to stop smoking, but because they still genuinely believe that smoking
is enjoyable and in some strange way essential to their happiness, they
feel they are making a sacrifice. They feel they are depriving themselves
of this 'pleasure'. Although this is an illusion, it is a powerful
illusion and it is why people
who use willpower alone sooner or later find themselves back smoking.
Remember our past example. It could be at a party or at a bad moment
during the day or during a particular stressful occasion. And because they
still believe the old lie that smoking can magically produce pleasurable
feelings in them, after a little battle (their desire to feel better
always overcomes the desire not to smoke) they succumb to the old
addiction..........and it takes only ONE CIGARETTE to start the whole
chain off again. To smoke or not to smoke? Some students, at this stage
still believe that this is not an extremely important part of the
course. "OK", they reason ,"it may play a part but still the main thing is
to stop and to do everything in my will to stop." Although it is important
that we want to stop smoking and we use our self-discipline not to smoke
another cigarette when we finally decide to stop, it is vitally important
that you understand this part of the course.
The Power Of a Placebo
Most of you are probably aware of the placebo effect in medical science.
People who are told a drug will have a certain effect on them will, in
most cases experience that effect even if they are given a pill with no
active properties. Again most of us will find this hard to believe - yet
it is a recognized scientific reality in modern medicine. Measuring the
'placebo effect' in medicine
Again, most of us will find this hard to believe - yet it is a recognized
scientific reality in modern medicine. Norman Cousins, the famous American
researcher has even gone as far as to say: 'Drugs are not always
necessary. Belief in recovery is. "Listen to what Dr. Andrew Weil, who has
conducted a number of important studies in this field has concluded: "The
experience of drug users correspond almost exactly to their expectations.
You can lead a person given a dose of amphetamine to feel sedated or a
person given a barbiturate to feel stimulated. The 'magic' of drugs
resides within the mind of the user, not in the drugs. "In other words,
the power lies not alone in the drug but to a large extent in what the
person really believes the drug will do for him. In essence, if you
genuinely believe that giving up smoking can be easy and you can do it -
you will. Likewise, if you listen to society's out-of-date and
ill-informed opinion about smoking and genuinely believe that it will be
extremely difficult and
tedious -then you will make things difficult for yourself.
As Emile Coue,
the famous French physician once said: "Always think of what you have to
do as easy and it will become so".
In fact, many centuries ago Virgil, the famous philosopher was obviously
aware of this fundamental law of psychology when he simply said: 'They can
because they believe they can'.
Changing
Beliefs
So now that we are beginning to catch a glimpse of how important our
deepest-held beliefs are in determining our experiences, how can we go
about changing them. The first thing to realize is that beliefs are not
immutable laws or facts engraved in stone. If you have negative belief
system about a person, addiction or experience, you can change it as
easily as you can, say, change your clothing. It is important to realize
that beliefs systems are no more immutable than the length of your hair,
your affection for a particular kind of music or your choice of car, for
example. It is as easy to change a belief as it is to change your
clothing. Many people believe that it will take a long time to change
their old deeply-held beliefs but this too is....... only a belief. The
important thing is to get it clear in your mind that if you don't like
your beliefs - you can change them - and change them easily.
An Exercise
This is a simple exercise for uncovering what you really believe about
smoking. Sit with a stack of several sheets of paper. Choose a quiet room
with no distractions. Now place the tip of your pen on the first sheet of
paper and promise that you will not lift your pen for five minutes. Begin
to write the sentence 'I need to smoke because....................... and
finish it anyway you want. Not lifting your pen, write the same sentence
again, 'I need to smoke because..................' and again let any
ending that comes to mind be put on the paper As you are doing this,
take slow measured breaths in and out without pausing in between. This is
called sometimes called circular breathing, in which inhale and exhale are
connected. Since ancient times this deliberate sort of breathing has
been considered a way to bypass the inhibitions of the conscious mind. As
you perform the circular breathing, in and out without pausing, keep
finishing the sentence, 'I need to smoke because........' over and over
again without lifting pen from paper. Once you liberate yourself to write
down what you really believe about why you need to smoke you may find it
difficult to stop. If you are doing this exercise freely, letting your
thoughts simply unravel without trying to control them or judge them you
will find many unanticipated ideas and unconscious beliefs rising to the
surface. Let all emerge, but always return to your breathing and don't
lift pen from paper until you are done. One word of caution: if you begin
to feel too uncomfortable, stop. At the end of the exercise it is also a
good idea to lie down and rest, allowing yourself to regain your normal
equilibrium. Try to perform this exercise for the following beliefs that
are linked to smoking. Or if you prefer, pick the ones that you feel most
resistance to.
1. It is very hard to give up smoking.
2. You will suffer terribly when you stop.
3. You will need tons of willpower to succeed.
4.When you stop you will feel terrible - and there is nothing you can do
about this - but just suffer and hope it goes away
5.Very few people can successfully give up smoking. Most people will
eventually fail.
6. Giving up will be a terrible sacrifice. Life will never be the same or
as enjoyable again.
7.You will never ever again be really able to enjoy your lunch breaks or
social occasions.
8.It is just not possible to give up smoking and enjoy it.
Please take your time. Go through each belief. Sense - feel - how much
power each belief has for you. Be patient. Most of us have no idea how
deeply embedded these beliefs are. The first step towards changing a
belief is to becoming AWARE of it. Do not criticize or judge yourself for
having these beliefs. Please be patient and honest with yourself. Admit to
yourself what you really believe no matter how bad or discouraging it may
seem to be, at first.
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|
Chapter 6
The Power of Feelings
Instead of
resisting any feeling, the best way to dispel it is to enter it fully,
embrace it, and see through your resistance.
Deepak Chopra
We all have feelings. In fact, feelings are the very essence of life
itself. If I were to hit you with my fist now, you'd probably FEEL
angry. Or if I were to laugh at you or say that I didn't like you, you'd
probably FEEL sad or embarrassed. May I ask you a question ?What happens
if it is a bad day and you don't feel well; maybe you feel fed-up and
bored ? You'll probably get up and DO something - won't you? you? Why ? To
feel better, of course - to change how you FEEL. For example, a lot of
people if they feel depressed like to go shopping and buy new clothes.
Others may perform a sport. Others may eat. Or go to the pub. ANYTHING
that will make them feel better. ANYTHING that will help them to change
their mood. If you feel bored or fed-up what do you do ? Go to the pub
? Watch TV ? Ring a friend ? To change how we FEEL, most of us will get up
and try to 'DO' something.There is a widespread, almost universal belief
that if you have a feeling you don't like -- the ONLY way to change it is
to take your mind off it and force yourself to 'do' something else.
Isn't that right? If we FEEL bored we will get up - go to the pub or watch
TV. If we FEEL angry we will either shout at somebody, have a row or
punch them! If we FEEL tense we will either walk up or down a room; tap
our fingers nervously on the table; take a tablet or try to force
ourselves to listen to some relaxing music.
We hope that by D-O-I-N-G these things - (all of which are fine and valid
- we are not being critical here) -- we will change HOW we FEEL.We take it
for granted that to change how we feel, we must get away from them (our
unpleasant feelings) and do something - ANYTHING -- and.......in time, we
hope we will feel different.We believe that certain feelings are 'bad' and
'wrong' and we MUST get away from them as soon as possible.
An Easy Way to Change Your Feelings?
But is there an easier and more fulfilling way to change how you feel-May
we suggest a new way ? Why not just sit down and feel the feeling ?"What !
", I can hear you say, "Don't do anything - just allow the feeling to be.
No. No. No. I couldn't do that. It's bad. Dangerous. Not possible. I don't
want to have to feel and experience those feelings and sensations." This
is a very important point, because it reveals another core belief that
most of us are totally unaware that we possess.
We are all terrified to feel. In fact, most of us will do anything --
ANYTHING -- to escape from having to face unpleasant feelings and
sensations. We all believe that CERTAIN feelings and sensations are bad
(like the feeling we get when we can't smoke) and we spend our life
RUNNING AWAY from these feelings. Or refusing to face them in the mistaken
belief that we can't bear the pain. We are all terrified to sit and
face unpleasant feelings and sensations. And yet if we could just learn
to sit down and face these feelings/sensations and sit with them in the
moment , like a scientist without trying to change them, escape from them
or resist them in any way - just to allow them to be without judgment - an
incredible change would occur.
The feelings which you thought you did not like would loose their
'heaviness' and their 'pain' and you would feel and experience them as
they really are - Pure energy, pure harmony. A great new discovery
awaits you. You would FEEL a tremendous difference. I bet you find this,
right now very difficult to accept. That is fine. It is a new concept for
most of us and, yet this simple concept is the KEY to making giving up
smoking a truly enjoyable experience. Do you know what is REALLY putting
you off giving up smoking ? You are TERRIFIED of the feelings you will
have to face, if and when you give up.You are afraid you won't be able to
handle them.
When you give up smoking the 'feeling' itself is not bad. The pain comes
from worrying about and trying to resist or push this feeling away because
you believe it is 'bad' or 'unbearable'. This is one of the most
important concepts in this course.
When you give up smoking, again and again you will get that strong feeling
which simply translates itself as : 'I want a cigarette.'This is a real
and tangible feeling. We all know it. It is OK. It is valid. But this
time, when you give up smoking you are going to do the unthinkable:you are
going to welcome these feelings, these sensations in your body, no matter
how often they come.You are not going to RUNAWAY from them or try and take
your mind off them. You are NOT going to cross your fingers and hope and
pray that they will go away.You are NOT going to.......Fight them
Suppress them Fear them Or resist them in any way.
You are NOT going to substitute something else for the cigarette like
extra food. You are simply going to allow the cravings to be and stay with
them as they present themselves IN THE MOMENT and simply observe them -
like a scientist observing an experiment. Yes, you are going to simply
observe them - like a scientist observing an experiment, objectively,
impartially as if these feelings were happening to someone else. And it is
this simple non-judgmental observation - this simple 'non-doing' that will
transforms all your old heavy painful feelings into their essence - pure
energy. At this stage, let me tell you the story of one of our students -
Penny - and how she dealt with this concept - in her own words. It may
give you a better idea of what we are talking about. I couldn't accept
this idea at first and it took me a while to understand it's 'mad'
simplicity. I didn't really want to
give up smoking because I really believed I couldn't cope without it. I
had tried before and failed. Sometimes I would last out for a few days,
but soon I would let my mind think up new excuses to start again.
For example, I would remember that I had a wedding or a big party to
attend and so I would decide that I would smoke up until then - but after
that I would definitely give up - no doubt about it. But, of course it
happened again and again. And every time, I tried to stop I would hope
and pray that this craving I had to smoke would just disappear -
vanish. Be gone. But of course I couldn't get away from it and when I
couldn't smoke it got worse until eventually I would give in and
smoke.And then I attended one of your classes on smoking and discovered
this strange new concept. You suggested to us ( which, at first I didn't
believe ) that the craving - this very real feeling we all have to smoke
- ISN'T BAD IN ITSELF. It is just a feeling, a sensation in the body. The
pain, the difficulty comes NOT from the feeling but from our terrible fear
and resistance to it.
From my belief that this craving is bad and we must, through any means
possible get rid of it. We are all so conditioned (brainwashed ) into
believing that this feeling - this craving is so unpleasant, so horrible
that we are frightened when we
experience it. We then immediately WANT to resist it, to try to change it
or nervously try to focus our attention onto something else and hope it
will go away. But in the classes you insisted: The pain is not in the
feeling, but in our resistance to the feeling. I still thought : '"This
can't be right - surely. But what the hell - what have I got to lose from
trying it out ?"So that first day, every time I felt a desire to smoke -
which was often - I simply made a note of it in my notebook and
noted:"This is simply my body demanding it's little dose of nicotine.
However, this time I will not smoke and instead of running away from
whatever feelings or
sensations that arise with it, I will now adopt a different approach to
these feelings - these cravings.......""I will say to them: 'For the first
time in my life I am not going to run blindly away from you. It was this
fear and running away in the past which gave you all your power.I am
simply going to stay in the moment and observe you - watch you -feel you
in my body.I am not going to try and change you or push you away or judge
you or make you wrong in any way.
I AM GOING TO OBSERVE YOU AND REALLY FEEL WHAT YOU ARE REALLY LIKE AND NOT
OTHER PEOPLE'S SECOND HAND OPINIONS - AND IT HAPPENED. After a few days,
as I continued to use and experiment with this technique of simply
acknowledging the craving to smoke whenever it arose and not judging it or
making it wrong but simply being aware of it, I noticed the energy began
to shift. It did not feel so bad - in fact it began to feel light and warm
and then I realized that the feeling itself - this famous craving - when
STRIPPED of all the fearful projections and painful images WE PROJECT on
to it - is, in it's very essence NO BIG DEAL AT ALL. I realized that the
feeling itself was not bad. Yes. it felt different and uncomfortable in
the beginning, but the feeling itself was so slight that I could easily
handle and tolerate it until it
disappeared for ever. Yes, the problem was not the CRAVING to smoke but
our deeply conditioned belief that this craving is bad, all powerful and
that if we don't satisfy it, we will all suffer terribly. It's a lie. The
problem is not the craving to smoke but our deeply conditioned belief that
this craving is bad and we must get rid of it.
Your Feelings
You do not want to give up smoking now because you are terrified of how
you will feel when you stop. If you have given up before, you will
know that you will experience certain feelings, certain sensations in your
body. You will feel empty, deprived and insecure. You will feel even
lonely, as if you have lost an 'old friend' (more like a wicked witch in
disguise!). It is important to realize that when you give up smoking under
this method, you WILL still experience these same feelings and bodily
sensations - but it is at this point that this method differs radically
from the old way. The old way said that the secret to success was 'old
fashioned will-power'.
It acknowledged that you would feel lousy when you stopped and that the
only way to succeed was to endure this unavoidable suffering. It advised
you to keep your mind off your desire to smoke by changing your routine or
by substituting something else for the cigarette. Willpower man? It
promised you that if you had 'ENOUGH' willpower and 'fought' off all the
terrible feelings when they came - with time and patience, you would
finally defeat the enemy - and succeed. And many people did use that
method and succeed - but at what price ? They have linked forever in most
people's mind the idea that giving up smoking and pain are inexplicably
linked.
But I hear you say : "They are. I have tried to give up before and it was
hell." I do not disagree with you. Giving up smoking can be hell. But the
hell - the pain - does not come from giving up smoking but how you deal
with the feelings you get when you give up smoking.
Please underline the following in your mind: When you give up smoking, the
feeling itself is not bad. It's only a temporary, RESTLESS, EMPTY
feeling. The pain that people associate with giving up smoking comes from
RESISTING - from trying to deny or fight the feeling you get when you
realize you can't smoke.
It Is a Lie
My advice to all smokers would be: It is all a lie. Make the decision to
stop - and really mean it - and then after you have given up, EXPECT to
feel this craving to smoke. But don't worry about the craving to smoke.
Don't believe it is bad and don't try to suppress it. As you told us,
simply stand back from it - and instead of giving in to it and smoking -
just observe it - and for the first time REALLY EXPERIENCE what it feels
like. Not what you are conditioned to believe it SHOULD feel like - but
what it really feels like. Yes, you will realize that it is no big deal;
nothing at all to worry about. And when you get that realization yourself,
which you will, then you will know that is all you have to do to be a
happy non-smoker."
Please do not believe this is difficult to do just because it is new to
you. It is really quite easy. But don't let its simplicity fool you. Let
me repeat: We all are terrified of certain feelings, especially the
feeling we get when we can't smoke. We believe it is 'bad' and impossible
to cope with it - so if we experience it, we tend, automatically,
to mentally fight it; to resist it; to push it away; to want it to go
away.. It has never occurred to us to welcome it. To just let it
be.....until it fades away of its own accord It seems the most natural
thing in the world to do the exact opposite and mentally fight it. We all
do it. But this OLD WAY method does not work.
Page six
What you resists persists. If you have a feeling you don't like: i.e. the
feeling you get when you can't smoke..........Please don't try to fight IT
or wish it would go away. Don't judge it as 'good' or 'bad' even if it
does, at this moment feel hard and uncomfortable. Why not try a new
way ?Instead of resisting any feeling, the BEST way to dispel it is to
enter it fully, embrace it, and see through your resistance. Simply sit
back..... from the craving and just allow the feeling to be WHATEVER it
feels like.
Depersonalize it
Realize the feeling/sensation is not you. These feelings/cravings come and
go. They are not us. So step back from the feeling and the thoughts that
accompany it and realize it's impersonal nature. This is an important
step. It reduces the 'hold' the feeling has over us and gives us more
control. The feeling is not us. Now put the craving in context.
You do this by remembering every feeling and thought has movement to it
and is only temporary. Even the most acute craving will only last a few
minutes....and then it will be gone. Now for the 'hardest' step of all:
don't do anything to the craving.
Resist all temptation to believe you have to 'do' anything to the
feeling. To judge it.
To get worried or upset by it. Let go of the idea that there is something
wrong with this feeling/sensation in your body. Stop trying to get rid of
it. Accept it's temporary presence. Don't make a big deal of it. NO,
simply stay in the moment and allow it to play itself out in WHATEVER way
it wants. Where in the body is the feeling the strongest? Watch and
observe what it does. Do not identify with it. Do not give it any energy
by trying to change it. Simply stay in the moment and observe
everything. Do not react to any thoughts that will flow through your mind
(and they will).
Treat these thoughts the same as the feelings. Allow them. Whether they
are good or bad. Do not judge them. Just be still. Just note them. KNOW
they are like the clouds in the sky. They will soon pass on. And what will
happen as you maintain this attitude ?The feelings and 'bad' sensations
will change of their own accord. You will realize that every feeling or
craving has movement to it - and they come in waves. Now, if you will just
allow yourself to observe them and not judge them as 'bad' or
'undesirable' - and just feel the feeling - without resistance - you will
begin to realize the energy is still there but it does not now feel so
bad .
Negative Thoughts
Your Decision must be so total that when your desire for nicotine begins
tricking your brain INTO MAKING EXCUSES LIKE .......
"Well I'll just have one -there's no harm in that" Or ......"To-day is
not the right day ( for the smoker there never is a right day)
- I will definitely start tomorrow - or next Monday. Definitely". No Your
decision must be so total that you will not even spend a second - a split
second of your time in giving ANY credence to these excuses.Please
understand this DOES NOT MEAN that you should worry if you have these
thoughts or doubts. Of course not.Everybody who gives up smoking will
experience these thoughts, doubts and false excuses running through their
mind, especially for the first few weeks. The important point is:
YOU MUST NOT GIVE THEM ANY CREDENCE OR IMPORTANCE. YOU MUST NOT WASTE TIME
FIGHTING OR STRUGGLING WITH THEM. JUST WATCH AND OBSERVE THEM AS THEY
COME INTO YOUR MIND AND GO......The only power they had in the past was
the power YOU gave them - by FIGHTING them and WORRYING about them. NOW
you are not going to bother about them, and bit by bit they will just fade
away and die.
Your attitude will be: 'So what if these ideas or excuses come into my
mind? In the first week or two --of course they will. So I will expect
them - and not make a big fuss of them. Soon they will be gone
forever....." This is a key point to realize if you want to enjoy the
exciting process of giving up smoking for ever. As far as you are
concerned, once you have made the DECISION to stop - that is it.
Key Idea
It makes no difference what excuses or doubts flood your brain. You will
not waste ANY time or energy even in considering them'. Compare this to
the person who has only made a weak commitment to stop. Compare his frame
of mind. What he is really saying to himself is this: "Well I'm not too
sure how this is going to work out. But I want to stop so I'll give it a
go. Hopefully, although I suppose it will be very difficult, I will
survive - but let's see what happens. "But that person will soon begin to
experience the doubts and........ the mind's clever excuses that everybody
who tries to stop has to face. You, too will experience these doubts -
these excuses.
Your brain will be on overtime. What is happening is simple. You want your
nicotine fix. However, nicotine knows it is too weak to get you to smoke
on it's own so it conspires to get the help and co-operation of your past
conditioning - your brainwashing. It will flood your brain with wave after
wave of doubts, negative thoughts and excuses....."I'll do it tomorrow -
next week - next month etc..." Now is not the right time. I'll
start............... These questions, doubts and excuses - no matter how
many times they cross your mind ARE NOT IMPORTANT - WHAT IS IMPORTANT,
like the craving to smoke IS HOW YOU RESPOND TO THEM.
The Quality of your Decision
This is where the importance of the 'quality' and 'depth' of your decision
comes in. If your decision to stop is weak, like the person above, you
will find yourself struggling, fighting and resisting these excuses -
these fears. You will experience doubt, agony and restlessness. You will
begin to listen to them and wonder if, maybe they are right. A struggle
will then gradually develop between your desire to stop and these negative
thoughts. As this internal battle RAGES on, you will feel tired,
frustrated and fed up with the whole thing - and in disgust you'll
probably have a cigarette. And what will this actually do: - It will
simply confirm your old belief that giving up smoking is indeed agony! But
all this agony IS NOT COMING from the cigarette. It is coming from your
mind. You caused it by your half decision. You had not made a fully
committed decision. What happened is that you ALLOWED yourself to listen
to and get personally involved with these 'doubts and excuses'. A thought
pops into your head...."Maybe I should just have one - or maybe I got it
all wrong - I don't have to give up at all - all I really need to do is
just cut down a little. "If you have not made a total commitment to stop,
you WILL START TO ALLOW YOURSELF TO REACT TO THESE EXCUSES.
What if.....................?Should I ....................?No, I can't
.....................?Well, should I consider it
...............................?And on it goes. And as we allow ourselves
to consider these doubts, we experience struggle, tiredness,
frustration.....etc If your decision is ill-defined, weak or fuzzy then
you will be PRONE to react to all these doubts. Compare this to the person
who has made a total commitment to stop. He has told himself that under no
circumstances will he ever smoke that first cigarette. It makes no
difference what may happen or how he may feel on any particular day - even
if the heavens should fall down - he will never smoke again. Because that
person has made such a TOTAL, CONGRUENT AND COMMITTED decision to stop,
when these negatives excuses pop into his brain - he will not experience
any struggle, restlessness or frustrated agony - simply because HE WILL
NOT RESPOND TO THEM. Sure he will recognize that they are there, but to
him they are just passing visitors......like clouds passing in the
sky........no point getting worked up about them......soon they will be
gone ........!He can hold this attitude because he has made the decision
that he will never smoke again - SO WHAT IS THE POINT IN EVEN THINKING
ABOUT THESE EXCUSES.......... PASSING THROUGH HIS MIND.
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|
Chapter 7
The Illusion of Willpower
That is why
people who use will-power alone to stop find it so HARD. They try to stop
smoking, but because they still genuinely believe that smoking is
enjoyable and in some strange way essential to their happiness, they feel
they are making a sacrifice. They feel they are depriving themselves of
this 'pleasure'. Although this is an illusion, it is a powerful illusion
and it is why people who use willpower alone sooner or later find
themselves back smoking. Remember our past example. It could be at a party
or at a bad moment during the day or during a particular stressful
occasion. And because they still believe the old lie that smoking can
magically produce pleasurable feelings in them, after a little battle
(their desire to feel better always overcomes the desire not to smoke)
they succumb to the old addiction..........and it takes only ONE CIGARETTE
to start the whole chain off again.
To smoke or not to smoke?
Some students, at this stage still believe that this is not an extremely
important part of the course. "OK", they reason ,"it may play a part but
still the main thing is to stop and to do everything in my will to stop.
"Although it is important that we want to stop smoking and we use our
self-discipline not to smoke another cigarette when we finally decide to
stop, it is vitally important that you understand this part of the course.
The Power of a Placebo
Most of you are probably aware of the placebo effect in medical science.
People who are told a drug will have a certain effect on them will, in
most cases experience that effect even if they are given a pill with no
active properties. Again most of us will find this hard to believe - yet
it is a recognized scientific reality in modern medicine. Measuring the
'placebo effect' in medicine
Again, most of us will find this hard to believe - yet it is a recognized
scientific reality in modern medicine. Norman Cousins, the famous American
researcher has even gone as far as to say: 'Drugs are not always
necessary. Belief in recovery is."
Listen to what Dr. Andrew Weil, who has conducted a number of important
studies in this field has concluded: "The experience of drug users
correspond almost exactly to their expectations. You can lead a person
given a dose of amphetamine to
feel sedated or a person given a barbiturate to feel stimulated. The
magic' of drugs resides within the mind of the user, not in the drugs. "In
other words, the power lies not alone in the drug but to a large extent in
what the person really believes the drug will do for him. In essence, if
you genuinely believe that giving up smoking can be easy and you can do it
- you will. Likewise, if you listen to society's out-of-date and
ill-informed opinion about smoking and genuinely believe that it will be
extremely difficult and tedious -then you will make things difficult for
yourself.
As Emile Coue, the famous French physician once said: "Always think of
what you have to do as easy and it will become so".
In fact, many centuries ago Virgil, the famous philosopher was obviously
aware of this fundamental law of psychology when he simply said: 'They can
because they believe they can'.
Changing Beliefs
So now that we are beginning to catch a glimpse of how important our
deepest-held beliefs are in determining our experiences, how can we go
about changing them. The first thing to realize is that beliefs are not
immutable laws or facts engraved in stone. If you have negative belief
system about a person, addiction or experience, you can change it as
easily as you can, say, change your clothing. It is important to realize
that beliefs systems are no more immutable than the length of your hair,
your affection for a particular kind of music or your choice of car, for
example. It is as easy to change a belief as it is to change your
clothing. Many people believe that it will take a long time to change
their old deeply-held beliefs but this too is....... only a belief. The
important thing is to get it clear in your mind that if you don't like
your beliefs - you can change them - and change them easily.
This is a simple exercise for uncovering what you really believe about
smoking. Sit with a stack of several sheets of paper. Choose a quiet room
with no distractions. Now place the tip of your pen on the first sheet of
paper and promise that you will not lift your pen for five minutes. Begin
to write the sentence 'I need to smoke because....................... and
finish it anyway you want. Not lifting your pen, write the same sentence
again, 'I need to smoke because..................' and again let any
ending that comes to mind be put on the paper As you are doing this,
take slow measured breaths in and out without pausing in between. This is
called sometimes called circular breathing, in which inhale and exhale are
connected. Since ancient times this deliberate sort of
breathing has been considered a way to bypass the inhibitions of the
conscious mind. As you perform the circular breathing, in and out without
pausing, keep finishing the sentence, 'I need to smoke because........'
over and over again without lifting pen from paper. Once you liberate
yourself to write down what you really believe about why you need to smoke
you may find it difficult to stop. If you are doing this exercise freely,
letting your thoughts simply unravel without trying to control them or
judge them you will find many unanticipated ideas and unconscious beliefs
rising to the surface. Let all emerge, but always return to your breathing
and don't lift pen from paper until you are done. One word of caution: if
you begin to feel too uncomfortable, stop. At the end of the exercise it
is also a good idea to lie down and rest, allowing yourself to regain your
normal equilibrium.
Try to perform
this exercise for the following beliefs that are linked to smoking. Or if
you prefer, pick the ones that you feel
most resistance to.1. It is very hard to give up smoking.........2. You
will suffer terribly when you stop..............3. You will need tons of
willpower to succeed...............4.When you stop you will feel terrible
- and there is nothing you can do about this - but just suffer and hope it
goes away.............5.Very few people can successfully give up smoking.
Most people will eventually fail..............6. Giving up will be a
terrible sacrifice. Life will never be the same or as enjoyable
again...............7.You will never ever again be really able to enjoy
your lunch breaks or social occasions ............8.It is just not
possible to give up smoking and enjoy it............ Please take your
time. Go through each belief. Sense - feel - how much power each belief
has for you. Be patient. Most of us have no idea how deeply embedded these
beliefs are. The first step towards changing a belief is to becoming AWARE
of
it.Do not criticize or judge yourself for having these beliefs. Please be
patient and honest with yourself. Admit to yourself what you really
believe no matter how bad or discouraging it may seem to be, at first.
How To Dissolve Your Old Beliefs
Take a belief you have about smoking and bring it to the surface of your
mind.NOW WE ARE GOING TO DO SOMETHING THAT MOST OF YOU HAVE NEVER DONE
BEFORE WHEN TRYING TO CHANGE YOUR BELIEFS - NOTHING. YES NOTHING.In the
past, we have tried to change our beliefs by trying to...... Deny
them Fight them Resist them Or force ourselves to believe a 'better or
more positive belief'. Although, this may seem the natural or correct
thing to do it actually achieves the opposite of it's intent.By fighting
or trying to push it away, we are really giving it MORE energy and
actually increasing it's power over us.If you really want to change your
old beliefs..... Don't fight them. Don't hate them. Don't try 'to do'
anything tothem. Instead, simply become aware of them; watch and observe
them without guilt and this simple non-judgmental awareness will dissolve
the belief of all it's power...............Like magic. Most of you do not
believe this - simply because you have never practiced this simple
technique. All you have to do is to consciously 'sit' or be aware
with your old belief, without judging it or making it wrong until the
power behind it dissolves.A simple non-judgmental, non-resistance
AWARENESS of a belief gradually dissolves it. Because many of your
beliefs are deeply embedded in your mind, it may take time for many of
your old ideas about smoking to disappear.Don't worry. Simply maintain
your simple, non-judgmental, non-resistance awareness of the belief until
it dissolves by doing the exercises suggested.What is really happening
here ? By simply acknowledging what we believe and not reacting to it or
trying 'to change' it, what we are really doing is not giving it any more
energy or life When this happens, like everything else in life, WITHOUT
ENERGY OR LIFE, it will eventually fade away and die. In fact, this is
what you were doing in the first writing exercise....A CHALLENGE Why not
try this simple method ?
However, to
make the exercise maybe less abstract, you can also imagine putting your
old beliefs into bright balloons and then imagine these balloons floating
higher and higher into the sky towards a a bright blazing sun where they
are dissolved into nothingness. Another excellent technique is to imagine
that your attention is like a gigantic warm sun radiating beams of
heat and warmth omni-directionally. Then try to imagine that all of your
old beliefs are made of hard ice and as you become aware of and focus your
attention on each of your old beliefs, without judgment or resistance,
they gradually weaken and MELT away into nothingness...............As you
play with this exercise, you will notice that slowly and gradually, your
old beliefs will lose
their power and fade away.You will also notice that as you read and
RE-READ this e-course and let these new IDEAS sink into your
consciousness, all your old beliefs will change gradually of their own
accord. Give it time. And be patient.
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Chapter 8
Commonly Asked Questions
Below are some
of the most commonly-asked questions we are asked. Please study each one
carefully as they will help to increase your understanding of the main
principles involved in giving up smoking.
Q: Instead of giving up entirely can I just not cut down ?Why ? Why would
you just want to cut down ? That means that you would still like the
opportunity to smoke now and then. If you feel like that it means that at
some level, you still strongly believe that smoking is enjoyable. You
still believe that the actual act of smoking is directly responsible for
this enjoyment. By trying to
pretend to yourself that you can allow yourself to simply cut down, it
means that you will remain catch in the illusion that smoking is
inherently enjoyable.(In fact by cutting down and spacing out your
cigarettes you will, in fact look forward more to each cigarette and
actually increase the illusion that the enjoyment is inherent in them. To
refresh yourself on this lesson refer back to
DAY 4. )
It also means,
that at some level, you have not faced up to the widespread 'brainwashing'
that you will have to face physical and mental agony if you stop
completely. In the end, what is keeping you smoking is FEAR A fear we ALL
know. The fear that we will never be able to enjoy life or handle pressure
without our little crutch or pleasure. The fear that we will have to
endure a long traumatic period in order to get free and...... and most of
all, the fear that we might never be free. Please do not underestimate the
power of these false beliefs. If you feel - 'No I will not give up smoking
- I will just cut down on the number I smoke.' - it may sound convincing
to you, but what it really means is that you do not want to face these
illusions You are still terrified of the feelings you believe you will
have when you give up. Fine. Congratulate yourself for being honest.
Remember it is all right to have these beliefs. Do not hate or criticize
yourself for still having them. They have been deeply ingrained in our
society for ages, so there is no blame for holding them.Remember the law:
What you resist persists. So if you still have these fears,
do not fight them in your mind. That is the old way. Just allow them.
Beware of them. By just bringing them to the surface and observing them
and not identifying with them, they will rise to the top and evaporate of
their own accord.
Be patient with
yourself. We all believed that to change our beliefs and feelings the best
thing surely was to try to get rid of them, change them, push them away
and then to criticize and punish ourselves for having them. But what we
were really doing was actually increasing their power by focusing more
energy and power on them by fighting them. The law is simple: Resistance
effects the opposite of it's intent Face this belief but do not fall into
the trap of believing that cutting down on
the number you smoke will solve your problem. You will simply remain
locked in another prison of illusion.
Q: Can I just not smoke one cigarette ?There is one golden, unbreakable,
infallible law you must follow when you give up smoking. Once you make the
decision - the final decision to become a non-smoker, you must never smoke
again.
THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS ONE CIGARETTE. THAT IS THE GREATEST ILLUSION OF
ALL. It was ONE cigarette that got you started on all this in the first
place. Imagine it. If you had never smoked that FIRST cigarette there was
NO WAY you could have become a smoker. I know there are some doctors and
specialists who recommend that you should stop smoking by gradually
reducing but remember this new approach is different. Remember again, we
do not ask you to give up smoking
immediately. In fact we allow you to keep on smoking until you realize the
real cause of your addiction : fear and why you believe it is difficult to
give up for good. But once you make the final decision to stop, that is
it. Get it blazingly clear in your mind.
THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS JUST ONE CIGARETTE .........and when you accept
this, you will not tire yourself out or torture yourself by thinking : Can
I just not have one ?
Q: Will I put on weight ?This is a vitally important question because it
is behind one of the most worrying trends in smoking: The idea that if you
stop smoking, you will automatically gain weight. The Old Willpower Method
This is important. There are two parts to this problem and it is important
that we understand BOTH of them. First, we need to be honest...... Yes,
in the past, people DID tend to gain weight and certainly not lose weight
when they gave up smoking. But please remember this: This was BECAUSE most
people tried to give up smoking using the old Will-Power Method alone.
They believed that....... when they gave up, they would feel
terrible. They were then told that the ONLY way to deal with these
cravings was to endure them.........and hope that, with time and
persistence, they would go away. They were advised above all...... to use
their Willpower and FORCE themselves not to smoke. And......finally, they
were told.... to eat snacks or nibble this or that - ANYTHING, in fact to
keep them busy and their minds OFF smoking.
Why eat? Because the feeling or the 'hunger' for a cigarette is very
similar to the feeling you get when you are hungry, and so, in the past,
people ate in the terrible mistaken belief that by eating, they could
satisfy their craving for a cigarette and that it would help them keep
their minds off smoking. But of course it didn't work.........And the MORE
the feeling came back..... the MORE they ate in the belief it could help
them, so, we have to accept there was some validity for people gaining
weight in the past when they tried to quit. But the CAUSE was not giving
up smoking but HOW people went about the process of giving up smoking. If
you look closely at how they went about it, you'll see our old friend
again : Fear. People ate TO NUMB their feelings.
Remember, when you give up smoking, you too will get these selfsame
feelings - 'I want a cigarette.' And you will experience similar feelings
when you realize that you cannot have one.But unlike the old willpower
method, you will not eat extra in order to ESCAPE or NUMB these feelings.
Why? BECAUSE you will want to WELCOME and ACCEPT these feelings. You will
WANT to transmute them. These FEELINGS/CRAVINGS are the KEY to your
success. Please underline this: The Old Way was to hate and fear these
cravings - these uncomfortable bodily sensations. You were told you had a
big fight on your hands - these feelings would be unpleasant and
overpowering . And because the feeling you get when you want a cigarette
is similar to how you feel when you are hungry, of course, you believed
that by eating, you could satisfy these feelings or at least alleviate
them. But all you did was to temporarily block off these feelings. By
eating, you give yourself an excuse not to have to deal with and really
feel these feelings. You put off the evil day........and started to put on
the pounds.
Never forget that when you give up smoking, you will CONTINUE to have
these empty, restless, insecure cravings for the first two or three
weeks..... Now, for the first time in your life, LET yourself have these
feelings, these empty sensations in your body. Actually feel them,
moment-by-moment in your body.
Call Their Bluff
Sure, you will get the temptation to eat extra - to compensate - to 'fill'
in the feelings you believe you are now lacking. These desires are
natural, normal. They are not bad in themselves. And they are ONLY
TEMPORARY. Just feel them! Yes, it takes courage not to run away and try
to escape by eating extra. If you will just have patience and stay with
these feelings you will discover your moment of truth - that these
feelings are no big deal and that you can easily handle them. You don't
have to eat to escape from them.
Please
underline: The belief that you will gain weight automatically if you stop
smoking is a myth. In actual fact, if you practice this psychology
correctly - you should lose weight! However, there is one other issue we
must deal with in regard to weight gain before we proceed. This is the
second part of the problem we mentioned earlier........Remember: If you
do not RUN AWAY FROM or try to NUMB your cravings to smoke by EATING, YOU
WILL NOT GAIN WEIGHT when you stop smoking. And even if you are one of
those who may experience a slight weight gain of up to 5 pounds, due to
metabolic changes- that is nothing! Follow our simple advice - and you
will not even experience that! But the important thing to remember here is
this: In the old way of giving up - the idea that you must use WILLPOWER
alone to force yourself to stop and then you must keep yourself BUSY to
help to take your mind off the desire to smoke - people looked to
substitutes like food to BLOCK or to ESCAPE from these feelings. By doing
this, it ruined, of course any chance they had of not gaining weight. But
our approach is the exact opposite.
We will want you to FACE and WELCOME ALL the cravings you get when you
stop. We want you to TRANSFORM them. You now know that by allowing and
opening to every feeling and desire WITHOUT judgment or resistance you can
MAGICALLY transform how these feelings FEEL, moment-by-moment in your
body. They can actually be experienced as enjoyable sensations - and thus
you will feel no compulsion to use food to escape from these cravings. So
why continue EVERY DAY to....CONGEST your lungs with cancerous tars. To
CLUTTER up and POISON your blood vessels. And to SENTENCE yourself to a
lifetime of.....filth, bad breath, stained teeth, burnt clothes, filthy
ashtrays, and the foul smell of stale tobacco.........all because of the
mistaken BELIEF that if you stop smoking, you must gain weight. Go
on....show the world by your own PERSONAL EXAMPLE that it is a LIE!
Because it is! And as you show them, ENJOY fully all the immediate
benefits you'll experience when you stop.....You'll feel stronger,
younger, healthier Your complexion will be better. Your teeth and fingers
will no longer be yellow. Your eyes will look healthier, more alive and
vibrant. And your clothes and breath will no longer stink of stale smoke.
You'll feel
f-a-n-t-a-s-t-i-c !!
Q: Why do you always repeat the SAME IDEAS and CONCEPTS over and over
through the course. It's starting to annoy me ?Tonight, sit down and watch
a new movie. And ...try to count the number of times you see people
smoking during the film. And ask yourself why? And then consider
this........Today, most large films are financed by 'companies within
companies'. In fact, it's almost impossible to track down who is financing
or contributing some of the large sums needed to make these movies. Why do
some of these companies not want to be known? For tax reasons. Maybe. Or
maybe it is because they just love the movies.... Sure. I wonder is it
just a coincidence that in most of these NEW films today you will
Always Find People Smoking
For example, last week on Irish Television, I watched a repeat of the
Clint Eastwood Movie, 'True Crime' with James Wood. An
excellent movie - but the next time you see it - try to count the number
of times people are depicted really 'enjoying' smoking their cigarette. I
lost count - but as I watched it, I really felt sorry for any poor
individual who has just started to stop smoking that day. Why do films
indirectly, and in a lot of cases it seems, subliminally, focus so much on
the act of smoking? Maybe it was just a coincidence.......and I'm wrong.
But here's a question....Will the makers of that film and films like that
tell us EXACTLY where ALL the financing of these films come from? Can they
tell us that NO tobacco company either directly, or more likely
INDIRECTLY, through a third party, contributes to the financing of these
films? I wonder.....?Anyway, watch movies like this and you will know the
answer to the question why we repeat the same ideas over and over again.
We are trying to help you to CONSCIOUSLY change your beliefs about
smoking. To QUESTION all of society's beliefs and blind assumptions about
smoking. By repeating the same simple ideas AGAIN and AGAIN - we are
helping you to......CHANGE YOUR MINDSET TO LOOK at smoking with NEW EYES.
To QUESTION EVERYTHING you have been told about smoking. By repeating the
same simple ideas -- AGAIN AND AGAIN we are helping your subconscious mind
to effortlessly absorb the key central message of our course: You do not
NEED to smoke to be HAPPY. We are simply using the same technique, the use
of constant repetition that the tobacco companies use everyday, through
all their different mediums to get you to smoke. We're simply using it to
make it easy for you to give up!
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|
Chapter 9
This is Going to Be the Most Important Decision of Your Life
Not only is it
going to change your financial life........ ....imagine how excited you
would be if you found out that you had just won over $50,000 in a grand
raffle! Well, you have in a way!! But it will also be the most important
health decision you will ever make. The decision you make, in the next few
days will also, probably save you years of pain and unnecessary
suffering. This decision is so important for you and your family. It is
also important for all the smokers who have not yet had the courage to
face their addiction. There is, however one terrible, terrible irony of
smoking.......People find it so hard to believe that it is easy to give
up. And that is the central truth about smoking: it is easy to give up.
People find it so hard to accept that giving up smoking can be EASY. And
yet, most of us believe the opposite. In this course we have, hopefully
opened your mind to a new possibility.
You have begun to allow yourself to forget the myths and lies - and to
begin o believe that maybe.....just maybe....it is possible to give up
smoking and to give up for good. Yes, I know it is still hard for you to
believe - but that is because you have not yet experienced it. Soon, you
are going to give up smoking for good. As this time approaches, you will
begin to experience a variety of emotions - from initial delight to fear
and panic. Fine. There is nothing to worry about. You are not doing an
examination here where everybody is looking at you and where if you fail
initially, you are doomed forever. You are starting on a process where you
are going to prove to yourself that giving up smoking can be easy and even
downright enjoyable.
Why not take this adventurous, playful attitude ?Relax and begin to play
around with all the new ideas you have gathered from this course. Do not
force yourself to believe any of them. But start to consider them as
possibilities. Open your mind to the possibility that maybe, after
all..........'I could genuinely give up smoking for good ..... Oh,
wouldn't that be marvelous ........... But no, hold on, I tried before and
failed and found it terrible ......... Yes! .............. but .......
wasn't that because I tried to give up through WILLPOWER alone ?
....... Could this new approach, this psychology of non-smoking really
work ?Maybe....... Just maybe. I don't know.'
And maybe your thoughts will continue as follows :"Do I really NEED to
smoke? Really NEED to. Could I ever get through the day HAPPILY without
smoking? Could I ever ENJOY my morning coffee without a cigarette or after
a meal .............I have ALWAYS believed (like the world once believed
the earth was flat.) that it would be impossible. Surely it is.
................... but wait a minute, I got by happily before I ever
became a smoker in the first place - didn't I ? I was able to enjoy
watching TV, talking to all my friends on the phone, enjoy all my meals
.....WITHOUT SMOKING! Yes, I did and even when people around me - my
mother and father were smoking - it never bothered me at all.
I
wonder........ I wonder. ..................And what about the majority of
people in the world! They don't smoke and they seem to get through all
these occasions comfortably .......... They seem to be ABLE to enjoy their
coffee and meals without the slightest NEED or desire to smoke. It doesn't
effect their enjoyment one iota..............My God, could it be true?
........... Maybe even after all these years, I do not really NEED the
cigarette ....... Sure I would like to have it.... ........... but do I
really NEED it ?Could I possibly enjoy myself without it........? I must
admit ........ I never really thought about it like this before ....... I
just believed giving up smoking was all about losing a nice pleasure
...... And never actually considering the possibility I could be just as
HAPPY without it ........'Continue to let your mind expand. Be totally
honest with yourself. Maybe your inner dialogue will continue as follows:
"Yes..... I might let myself consider giving up. Wouldn't it be
great...... ? But really deep down, I still feel afraid. I'll miss them
....... I know it sounds silly ......... but they have always been with me
in the good and the bad times ...... I think the truth is: I'm afraid I
won't be able to cope without them ......... but could I ?Oh, I wonder, I
wonder .......that is the question ?Up to this.... I have NEVER even
considered this as a possibility. But maybe ..... maybe ....... If I did
choose NOT to smoke what is the worst that could happen to me..... ?OK,
for a while I would probably feel different ....... lonely and lost
....... as if I had lost an old friend But, hold on -- wouldn't I also get
those terrible cravings to smoke - that terrible nebulous feeling - I must
have a cigarette .........?Ah, yes, I forgot about that ...............
Damn it!
Ah well, what's
the point ........ I don't want to go through all that again, do I ?But,
wait, hold on - what was that I read in DAY 6...... Surely that can't be
true ? Yes...... it accepts that how I felt in the past when I tried to
give up was true and valid - but it claims that the pain and discomfort
which I definitely felt came NOT from the feelings themselves but how I
responded to them. Yes, now I remember: When I give up I should welcome
whatever feelings I get - not fear them or hope they won't come up or try
to escape from them........... The pain comes if you fall for the old LIE
that they are too overpowering and you won't be able to handle them, so
you try to get rid of them or change them in some way. I must admit this
sounds true to me ..........All I have to do is to ALLOW them .........
NOT get involved in them ..... NOT get frightened or anxious over them
......... to simply put them in context ........... they are only
temporary ............ and when stripped of the power and fear which I
have unconsciously projected on to them, they are really insignificant.
Yes, yes, of course that is it ..... And it has been these feelings - or
rather my FEAR of these feelings and, my belief that I would not be able
to cope with or tolerate them if I gave up smoking that made me not EVEN
want to consider the possibility of giving up. But now, maybe .. .maybe
........ it can be done and easily ...... I must admit I'm beginning to
feel a bubble of delight and excitement and smell the incense of success
.......... and the choice of real freedom.'
A New
Beginning
Maybe similar thoughts are flowing through your mind now. Again let me
repeat: I know it is hard to believe but you really can give up smoking
now - and for good -- and actually enjoy the process. Just allow yourself
to make that final irrevocable decision to stop when you are
ready. Remember, millions have already successfully done it. They are
getting on just as happily with their lives now and are able to ENJOY all
those occasions which you presently believe are impossible to enjoy
without the opportunity to smoke. They saw through the illusion.
You are not alone We are soon going to ask you to make a solemn vow that
no matter what happens in your life from now on, you are never going to
smoke that first cigarette again. Please never forget the following. Burn
these facts into your mind. Reread this lesson again and again. When you
stop smoking, you are NOT making a sacrifice. The enjoyment does not come
from the cigarette. It simply triggers it off. You will not face any great
horror or pain when you stop. Remember the law : What you resists
persists. When you stop, do not worry or get uptight when you get these
cravings to smoke. Simply acknowledge and accept that you will get them.
They are a natural part of giving up. In fact, to enjoy giving up you
should welcome and rejoice in them. In fact, the more times you have these
cravings, the better. It will give you more opportunities not to fear or
fight them, but to simply stand back and watch them as if you were
watching a beautiful landscape. So when you get the feeling 'I would love
to smoke - accept it as perfectly natural. The feeling isn't bad. What is
important is how we deal with it. Whenever you get the feeling, whether it
is once or a hundred times a day - it doesn't matter. Simply allow and
accept it. Stay in the moment. Remain a spectator. And if you can
maintain this simple, neutral, non-judgmental awareness, like a
scientist............ the energy of the feeling will change and the desire
will simply dissolve of it's own accord. Words cannot explain this
extraordinary, simple but powerful process. It must be experienced. So
every time you simply allow - and do not get anxious or worried about them
- what you are really doing, for the first time, is not giving them any
more energy or life.......And like everything in life, without energy and
attention it will soon die out and be gone for ever. So, in the next three
weeks or so...... welcome this feeling ' I would really love a cigarette',
whenever it comes!
Doubt
However, there is one thing you must never never do: Never question or
doubt your decision never to smoke again once you have made it. This deep
feeling or desire for a cigarette is real and you must be very careful
that you do not allow it to question or doubt your decision with thoughts
such as......'Maybe I'll have just one.' Or the most common and dangerous
thought of all.....
'Maybe now is not the best time. No I'll have one cigarette now but I'll
definitely start next week'.
Simple Advice
So, let me repeat, for the first few days as a non-smoker allow these
empty, insecure feelings. Accept that for a while, you will feel empty and
fed up. You will also temporarily feel as if you are been deprived of
something that is vital for your pleasure. Fine. Allow them all. Also,
allow the slight physical aggravation that your body will undergo during
this period. It is simply helping itself to get rid of..... the poison
that has been destroying it. When the feelings come, instead of bemoaning
the fact that you can't smoke why not say to yourself: 'Isn't this great -
this little monster inside my body is dying and everyday it is getting
weaker and weaker'. In that way even if you feel a little insecure or
uptight you will still be in a happy state of mind. Enjoy starving that
little monster - nicotine - inside your body. Luxuriate in it's
death throes. There is no need to feel guilty about gloating over it.
After all, it has been gloating over you for enough years and the only way
it can ever gloat over you again is if you light another cigarette.
A Happy Non-Smoker
You are now about to become a happy non-smoker. Remember, don't get
anxious or uptight about this. It is not a final examination where failure
equals eternal doom. It is an adventure of discovery and success. Soon you
will smoke your last cigarette. Remember, from that moment on - you are a
non-smoker. Yes, that very moment. Do not say to people: 'Oh, I'm trying
to give up smoking - Say: I am a non-smoker. You are NOW the same as all
the people in the world who don't smoke whether they stopped ten years ago
or never smoked at all. This is important. There is no waiting involved.
As we have
said, the difficulty in giving up smoking is not the physical aggravation
caused by nicotine withdrawal -- but the doubt, the uncertainty, the
waiting to become a non-smoker. The 'waiting' for the terrible withdrawal
PANGS and PAINS that we were promised or warned would come. The fear that
we are too weak and that the desire for a cigarette will prove too
overpowering for us. So if you are waiting for this great pain and
suffering..... you will be waiting for the whole of your life. They won't
come, because they don't exist. So there is nothing to wait for. The
slight physical aggravation and the temporary, empty, lonely feelings that
you will experience for the first few weeks when you give up ARE IT. There
is nothing else to face or tolerate. Simply face these temporary, slight
feelings you will get when you stop. Throw into the dustbin all the old
folktales that these feelings are horrible monsters that you have to fight
continuously. These are only disguises that these feelings wear so that
they can scarce you out of facing them and discovering their true puny
nature. Like little children at Halloween with their monster masks. So
face the feelings. Put them in context and then just feel them as they
really are. That is all you have to do. You are NOW a non-smoker.
What else is there to wait for? You do not have to wait till tomorrow,
next week, or next month. Simply remember two golden rules..........This
is just an excuse. And not only will it cause you to delay giving up if
you give in to it, but it is designed for a much more deeper reason: To
give you an excuse not to have to face the feelings you will experience
when you give up. So you keep running AWAY from these feelings, fearing
they are too painful, too unpleasant and just too impossible to
change. But are they ?It is this lie that has kept you smoking for years -
or - to be more accurate made you so FEARFUL that you kept on putting off
the day when you would even try to quit this addiction.
Two Golden Rules
1. Never question or doubt your decision. You are a non-smoker so you do
not smoke. Full stop.
2.There is no such thing as ONE CIGARETTE.
That is all you have to be concerned with - that first cigarette. IT
DOES NOT EXIST SO WHY TORTURE YOURSELF OVER SHOULD I OR SHOULDN'T I ? I
hope you have enjoyed this journey with us. There is no need to remember
all you have learned. Your subconscious mind will have taken it all in. If
you do not understand certain parts of it revert back to the lessons again
and again. Take your courage in your hands. You are only days away from
discovering the truth that you
can become a non-smoker and more importantly a happy non-smoker. We have
had lots of readers who were in your position now about to take the big
jump. They, too had all your doubts and fears but today they are totally
free from both
the need and desire to smoke. When you have doubts why not focus your mind
on the 60 million people in the US who have already succeed. It really
really can be done. Soon it will be 60 million and 1.
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Chapter 10
The Joy of Non-Smoking
The
longest journey begins with the first step.
Chinese Proverb.
There is only to-day. You do not have to worry about how you will feel or
act To-night Tomorrow.
Next week Or next year. As far as you are concerned, they don't exist.
They
are only thoughts - pictures in your mind. However, YOUR mind will want to
project you into this future - AWAY from this moment - the here and now. It
does
not want you to EXPERIENCE how you will REALLY feel, NOW, IN THE PRESENT
MOMENT
when you can't smoke because the feeling is so slight, so insignificant
that
you won't mind at all that you can't smoke. The game will be up. You will be free. The mind does not want you to experience what you will
really feel when you can't smoke because it is so slight, so insignificant
that
you won't mind at all that you can't smoke. So in the beginning, your mind
will
fill you with pictures of depression and self-pity. It will paint
terrifying,
exaggerated PICTURES of how you will feel when you can't smoke.
It hopes you will accept it's estimation of how these feelings will be -
so
that when you get these CRAVINGS during the day - which you will - you
will run
away from them. Or try to RESIST them in some way. Or worse....... you will
hate and curse yourself for picking this day to stop smoking. But TO-DAY,
and
EVERY DAY from now, you will not fall for this trick. Of course, your mind
will
be on overtime, especially for the first few days. Expect this. It is not
something to be worried about or hate. Remember what you resist
persists. So simply
accept it - don't even hope or wish it will go away. If it is there,
fine. If it
is not there, equally fine. Just accept that you will have all these
thoughts
and more.
Present moment
Always stay in the moment. You will ONLY feel tired,
anxious or fed-up if you forget and try to get involved in these thoughts.
If
you think you should fight them or try to reason or argue them
away. Remember the
paradox: What you resists PERSISTS.
So if your mind wants to go on overdrive, let it. Don't judge it or try to
quieten it down. Simply let it be and gently focus your attention on
something
else and you will discover the paradox always works - the mind and it's
thoughts
calm down.
THE REAL CAUSE OF UNRESTYet, we must never forget the real frantic energy
that IS ENERGIZING all these thoughts and mental pictures - the deep
CRAVING you
have to smoke. This FEELING that people have been telling you for
centuries
is..... the nearest thing to hell.
This FEELING that you don't want to face. This feeling that you are so
convinced that you won't be able to handle it.
Well, may I ask you: HAVE YOU EVER REALLY EXPERIENCED THE CRAVING TO SMOKE
AS
IT REALLY IS? REALLY EXPERIENCED IT MOMENT-BY-MOMENT? HAVE YOU EVER STAYED
IN
THE PRESENT MOMENT AND ACTUALLY FELT IT --- AND NOT YOUR MIND'S
INTERPRETATION
OR
EXPECTATION OF HOW IT SHOULD BE ? THE A,B,C.....Giving up smoking is very simple.
You make a choice not to smoke. However, many times during the day,
especially
during those trigger occasions that you have linked so closely with
smoking -
you will WANT to smoke. Don't make yourself wrong for feeling like
this. There
is nothing wrong with this. In the past, you found smoking enjoyable -
because of false associations - so it is only natural, that for a while
after you
become a nonsmoker, that you will have these strong urges.
Do not revert back to the old way and hate these desires and yourself for
having them. Don't let your mind run away and take you away from this
close
non-judgmental inspection. For the first time, you are NOT going to run
away from
this feeling that you get when you can't smoke. You have been doing this
your
whole life. Simply stay in the moment. Don't let your mind take you away
from
what is really happening NOW.
Stay open and relaxed and notice how you feel now. You may feel empty,
uneasy, anxious but if you don't let your mind exaggerate these feelings,
you will
realize that they are only temporary and NO BIG DEAL. YOU WILL REALIZE THAT
THIS
IS ALL THERE IS TO IT. THERE IS NOTHING ELSE TO WAIT FOR AND SOON EVEN
THESE
TEMPORARY SLIGHT FEELINGS WILL BE GONE. Yes - that is all there is to it. There is nothing else to wait for.
However, because we all believe the old MYTHS that giving up smoking MUST
be
hell and extremely difficult - we cannot believe that this is all there is
to
it.
So we conclude....... that there is something wrong - and then the idea
pops
into our head:
"Ah, maybe it hasn't come yet. That's it. I'll just wait. I bet you very
soon I will experience the real agony - the real pain that everybody
speaks about. "
And so you wait around, day after day anxious, worried, fearful - waiting
for
this terrible drama - this great test. It is an illusion.
Key Idea:
You have already gone through it. What we described above IS
IT. There is NOTHING to wait for. There is NOTHING to wait for there is no great drama - no great pain,
unless
you want to create it.
So you see the only problem with giving up smoking is that during the day,
you will feel like a cigarette. You will want to smoke. Accept this feeling and follow the simple
procedure
for dealing with it whenever it arises.
Everyday it will get less and less until one day you will notice that you
had
forgotten all about it and that it had died out weeks ago! To become a
happy
non-smoker.........
1. Make a decision to stop. A real irrevocable decision. Do not question
or
doubt this decision.
2. Take one day at a time.
3. Realize it will be very
easy.
4. Accept that many times during the day you will want to smoke. Do not run
from this. Face it and you will discover it is nothing at all to be
concerned
with. Follow the new procedure to deal with it.
5. Realize you are a
non-smoker
NOW. There is nothing to wait for or fear - except the negative pictures
in your
mind that you are projecting onto the future.
6. Everyday celebrate the
fact
that you are a non-smoker.
Very soon you will have no more need for all these techniques and
hints. The
false beliefs you had about smoking - that you would never be able to
enjoy
your life again without them or that you would have to suffer a terrible
agony to
be free of them will be totally dead. You will have no craving or desire to
smoke even if everyone around you is smoking and begging you to
smoke. Please
don't think this is not attainable for you. IT REALLY IS - and this time
next
year you will know it as a FACT because it is a reality you will be
experiencing. However, there is ONE GOLDEN RULE YOU MUST NEVER NEVER BREAK
OR EVEN
QUESTION.
When you put out your last cigarette, you are NOW A NON-SMOKER.
There Is No Such Thing As One Cigarette
Get this very clear in your mind. And follow it. It will save you time,
trouble and hours of mental wrestling. Please never forget it - even if you
feel
tempted to smoke just one cigarette, maybe at a party or you feel down or
depressed. Remember : There is no such thing as one cigarette. In fact your
ONLY goal
- your ONLY objective as a non-smoker is to make sure that you never smoke
that FIRST cigarette.
Remember if you had not smoked that first cigarette, many years ago, you
could never have become a smoker in the first place.
And look at all the pain, frustration and money that first cigarette has
cost
you.
So let us not fool ourselves. We are non-smokers. And non-smokers do not smoke. Full stop. And so to waste time to see if we can have, maybe just one ...... surely
it
can do no harm ...... IS AN ILLUSION.
In fact to become a non-smoker is very very simple:
There is only ONE thing that we have to look out for and that is to NEVER
NEVER SMOKE THAT FIRST CIGARETTE. ....AND TO REALIZE THAT FROM THIS
MOMENT
ON....... WE ARE NON-SMOKERS.
* * * * *
Afterthoughts
What to do if you REALLY don't care and just WANT to smoke.
1. Again expect to feel like this. In fact you will feel like
this many times. And remember even the most acute
craving will only last a few minutes.
2. Acknowledge how you are feeling. This is important.
Realize if you keep feeling like this it is quite normal and
natural.
3. Simply note and affirm to yourself : This is fine. It is
only my body registering it's demand for nicotine.
4. Stay in the moment.
5. Don't make how you feel wrong. Simply open to the
feeling . Allow it to do whatever it wants to do. Say: 'Come on my friend - you can do and suggest whatever you desire. I
know
your time is up and the more I stay open to you without wanting you to go
away
- in fact NOT CARING WHAT YOU DO - you can stay here all day if you want
--
the sooner you'll be gone.'
6. Now gently refocus your attention on whatever you
were doing. Treat it as a game. Repeat the procedure as
often as you feel necessary. Soon there will be no need for it...........Failure is an illusion.
When you are ready, pick the day when you will smoke your last cigarette
and
become a non-smoker.
You are now just beginning on the journey.
Even though you are now or shortly will be a non-smoker continue to read
and
reread the course in order to deepen your understanding and knowledge of
this
simple psychology of non-smoking.
And another point:
There is no such thing as failure. If you should fail and start smoking
again.
PLEASE, PLEASE DO NOT GIVE UP and think that you will never succeed.
The only failure is if you were to give up and never try again. The only
failure is if you were to give up
and never try again.
LEARN FROM YOUR FAILURE. And discover where you went wrong and start
again. Thank you for all your time and attention during this course. As
you start off
now on the road ... all our best wishes go with you. You're not alone. We
have all been there.
What to do when you want to smoke....
1. Expect it. Many times a day you will feel like this.
2. Acknowledge it. Each time during the day when you
feel like a cigarette simply acknowledge it. It is OK. It is
quite normal and natural.
3. Make a note of it. On a piece of paper write down
what time it is and realize quite clearly in your mind :
This is only my body registering it's demand for nicotine.
Soon it will be gone. Everyday it is getting weaker and
weaker.
4. Imagine your body's demand for nicotine in the form
of a little monster in your body. See the life pouring out
of it. Imagine it getting weaker and weaker - it's mouth
open, falling to the ground , struggling and gradually dissolving into
nothingness. Everyday you choose not to
smoke you are draining it of more power and life and in
three weeks, it will completely dead.
5. Repeat this process every time you feel like a
cigarette, noting the time and the intensity of the demand. In fact the more intense the demand the better : it is
only the 'little monster' shouting more loudly - thus
you know you are on the right road.
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